


They'll Grow Back

by sturms_sun_shattered



Series: Rito Chronicles [9]
Category: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Fear of Heights, Gen, Male Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:33:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25425451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sturms_sun_shattered/pseuds/sturms_sun_shattered
Summary: Gesane is eager for the day when he might fly again.  There are good days and not so good days but Guy is always there to remind him that things will get better.  Sometimes Guy also needs to be reminded.Post-For Ages to Come
Series: Rito Chronicles [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1757296
Comments: 8
Kudos: 9





	They'll Grow Back

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wokeboke](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wokeboke/gifts).



> Gesane made a joke in poor humour and everyone takes it quite seriously. It occurs to me that this might be a bit of a trigger warning.

**Late Autumn**

“You need to take some time away from this,” Laissa told him.

The setting sun glinted off of the beads in her warrior’s braids as the damp winds of autumn ruffled her feathers. Gesane avoided the gaze of their new First Warrior as he held the railing of the bridge and looked over the edge, heart pounding as it always did when he considered the drop and knew his wings wouldn’t save him. He didn’t remember that night when he had torn out those clipped feathers in some feverish hell, but Guy had assured him that nothing in his life had caused him greater fright than when Gesane had ripped that first bloody handful from his wing.

“You needn’t have brought Guy,” Gesane told Laissa, glancing to where his friend stood respectfully back on the first stack.

“I considered bringing Ariane.”

“Then I appreciate your restraint.”

“I’m not doing this to punish you, Gesane. I know Teba believed you when you said you were alright, but I don’t have the same stake in this that he did....and you’re scaring people.”

“Because of my wings?” he asked, glancing bitterly at the mess of bald patches and clipped feathers.

“Because of your apparent disregard for your life,” she said in dismay, “you’re not yourself.”

“You need guards,” sighed Gesane, “I know you and Mazli can’t cover this all the time while you brood.”

“While I appreciate the thought, I don’t want to put you at risk on our account,” he flinched at the careful wing she put on his shoulder and let go of the railing, “your watch is covered. Just go with Guy and when you feel better we can talk about this.”

Laissa walked Gesane to the stack stayed behind on the bridge to await his replacement. Guy’s expression was solemn as he met them and Gesane jerkily shrugged off the wing that he put around his shoulders.

“It’s alright,” Guy said, “just come back home.”

“It’s my home. You’re a guest,” Gesane told him acerbically, “and you should really go back to Ce.”

If Guy was hurt by his tone, he didn’t show it. Gesane knew that Guy had never been entirely happy with Ce—they were a poor match and had only made it the few years into their marriage on their son’s account—but separation was not Rito custom, and they couldn’t agree on whether or not they wanted to petition Teba to annul their pledge and live with that shame or suffer the rest of their lives with each other. Gesane bitterly wished that they would make up their minds, though he suspected that wouldn’t dislodge Guy from his roost now.

“I don’t know why Laissa is taking this so seriously,” Gesane complained.

“Really?” Guy said, his eyebrows raised, “I can’t imagine why she would pull you from such an important role when you said you’d throw yourself from the bridge in front of the delegation from the islands.”

“They’re hiding me away,” said Gesane acidly, “clipped wings isn’t a good look when you’re trying to establish diplomatic relations. This is Kass’s idea, I’m sure. He has that sort of—”

“Common sense?”

“Outward view. He’s the diplomat.”

“Kass didn’t do this to you,” Guy told him as they walked past the shops, “your anger is justified, but entirely misplaced.”

Gesane didn’t want to talk about this as he passed by the Slippery Falcon and Brazen Beak; he knew with whom his resentment lay. Those who had sentenced him to this misery and tried to maim him in the process still lived their lives without the humiliation and moments of sickening despair which threatened to drown him. They seemed to take over his every empty moment made him want to weep. Sometimes he did.

He sat down at the back of his roost, unsure of what to do with himself. He tried to cover the bare patches on his wings as the wind blew through. He was sure that his shivering only added to his air of instability. Guy pulled the blanket from his hammock but Gesane stubbornly refused; when he was full of this vile mood it was just easier than accepting the kindness the Guy always extended without hesitation.

“Can we talk about the bridge?” Guy asked, placing the folded blanket beside him as he sat down across from Gesane.

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“I think you scared Laissa,” said Guy, “and you scared me.”

“That wasn’t my intention...it was a poor choice of humour.”

“If that’s true I’m willing to accept that, but you haven’t seemed yourself since I came back.”

“I’m going to the stable,” said Gesane as he rose, trying to escape this line of discussion.

“I think Laissa will send you right back up here.”

“She has no right!” Gesane shouted, “it’s too cold to sleep up here!”

“Is that why you’re not sleeping?”

“I don’t need an interrogation,” he snapped leaning back against his hammock.

“Gesane, this isn’t an interrogation. Your friends are worried about you.”

Gesane covered his eyes and shook his head. _They’ll grow back_ , he reminded himself as he tried to catch his breath.

“They’re growing back already,” Guy assured him as he put his wings around him.

“I didn’t think I said that aloud.”

“You say it all the time.”

“I need to lie down,” said Gesane, fighting the panic that threatened to overtake him.

As he curled up in his hammock, Guy spread his discarded blanket over him. He drew it roughly around his shoulders and stared out at the darkening sky so he wouldn’t have to think about Guy’s unbearable kindness.

When Ariane returned for the evening she was wearing a fur-lined cap with ear-flaps to block out the cold of the night.

“What in Hyrule is that?” Guy asked with a bit of a laugh.

“Perhaps you haven’t noticed, Guy, but I don’t have feathers to keep out the cold,” she said patronizingly. 

“I’m going to the cooking pot,” Guy excused himself as she came to stand next to Gesane’s hammock.

“I thought you would still be on watch. Did something happen?” she asked.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Are you hurt?”

“No. You think Guy would have been able to compel himself to leave if I were?”

“I know you’re not feeling well right now,” she said, “but Guy only wants to help you.”

She was right, Gesane knew, though he didn’t want to say it. He shifted over in the hammock and she left her boots on the floor as she climbed in beside him and kissed the corner of his beak. She settled under the blanket with him and he pressed his back to her as she wrapped her arms around him—‘spooning’ the Hylians called it. The Rito didn’t call it anything, but Gesane rarely felt so safe as when she held him like this.

“I’ve been relieved of duty,” he told her as she pressed the tip of her cold nose into the feathers on the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry.”

“You and Guy might be right...I need to recover from the...wing-clipping,” he fought to even say the word.

“You just need time,” she said as she gently circled her fingers through the soft feathers on his breast.

**Deep Winter**

Laissa and Mazli’s chick had recently hatched, and Gesane had gone by to offer his congratulations. Truth be told, when he saw how exhausted they were he was relieved that with Ariane there would never be a chance of children. 

He worried for Guy though, who had terminated his marriage with Ce only days before. Gesane returned home from the stable one morning to find him wrapped up in his hammock with a grey and white Island Rito.

“It’s fine,” Guy insisted after she left, “they’re not as uptight about such things as we are.”

“I’d rather it didn’t happen in my roost...perhaps you ought to build your own.”

“Are you telling me to leave?”

“No, of course not.”

“Because it’s not as though you and Ariane are married, or even staying here most of the time.”

“This isn’t judgment,” said Gesane, “I just want to know that you’re alright.”

“You’re asking _me_ if I’m alright?” Guy said incredulously.

“Yes, you ask me constantly.”

“You’ve been through something traumatic. I’m just trying to work through something mundane.”

“You know what, Guy, sleep with the whole damn delegation if that makes you feel better.”

“Well, I like the looks of that delegate whats-his-name.”

“The one who looks like Kass? Best get his name before you try to charm him with those impeccable manners,” Gesane scoffed.

“I could do it.”

“Goddess, when did you become so appalling?”

“You know what...I have to stand watch on the bridge,” Guy said as he threw aside his blanket and pulled on his clothes.

Gesane left ahead of Guy and met Ariane at the stable. She had been trying to teach him to ride, though Kass was the only Rito he had ever known to ride a horse. Gesane had to admit that it was faster than walking everywhere, but he was nearly as frightened of the horses as they seemed to be of him. Ariane had found him the gentlest most even-tempered horse born and bred at Rito Stable, but even this one sometimes danced beneath him as the two rode out around the edge of the lake.

“I will most certainly give this up the moment I can fly again.”

“Spring is coming,” she assured him, “it doesn’t feel like it now, but every day it’s closer.”

He felt calmer when she reminded him of this. Though the seasons had seemed to stretch on since his punishment the summer before, Ariane’s presence became a comforting reality. They couldn’t spend every night together, but those nights they did were all the more special. Even as the snow fell in fluffy clusters of flakes from the grey sky, on this rare day that they could spend with each other, the world seemed lighter than it had for a long time.

When they returned to the stable and put away their horses for the evening, Gesane recalled his exchange with Guy that morning. He glanced out to the bridge and saw that Skovo had taken up Guy’s position. Gesane reached out and held both of Ariane’s hands in his and touched his beak to her cold nose and cheeks.

“You’re not going to stay tonight are you?” she asked disappointed.

“I think I may have to apologize to Guy,” said Gesane.

“Well,” she said, standing on her tiptoes to kiss his beak, “one for the road then.”

“I don’t understand this idiom.”

“Context, Gesane,” she said, kissing him once more before he set out.

By the time Gesane reached his roost, he had prepared himself to walk into any manner of debauchery. He hadn't prepared for Guy to be lying despondently in his hammock.

“Guy.”

“I think I did something foolish.”

Gesane stood by Guy’s hammock as he stared at the rafters.

“I found out delegate’s name is Hossa,” offered Gesane.

“No, it wasn’t about him,” sighed Guy, “I left for too long. Keth doesn’t want anything to do with me. I don’t know how to fix things with my own son.”

Guy covered his face with his wing as he broke down.

“Goddess, I’ve been so selfish and stupid.”

Gesane was exhausted from his day, and budged Guy over as he settled into the hammock beside him and wrapped him in his wings while he cried.

“You’re the least selfish person I know,” Gesane told him as he rested his beak on the top of Guy’s head.

“I don’t know what Ce’s said to him...maybe nothing. I should have left that desert as soon as I could fly again.”

When Guy had finally cried himself out, Gesane could barely keep his eyes open. His leg had long since healed from the bokoblin bite, but it ached after a day of riding and seemed to sap his strength.

“You going to leave?” Guy asked.

“No,” mumbled Gesane, not bothering to fight his drooping eyelids, “I’m falling asleep.”

“Alright,” said Guy as he leaned his head against Gesane’s shoulder, “why do you smell like horse?”

“Went riding.”

“You stink.”

“Ariane always smells like horses and you say nothing.”

“I don’t have to share a hammock with her...besides...someone around here ought to be with the person they love.”

“Hossa seems nice. You might woo him.”

The silence stretched between them as Gesane began to drift off. When Guy finally spoke it was if Gesane was hearing him from a great distance.

“I didn’t come back right away...because I had an affair with a Gerudo woman.”

“Did I hear that correctly?” asked Gesane, opening his eyes in surprise.

“After a few trysts it was apparent that she was only waiting for a Hylian to come along,” said Guy, covering his face in shame, “I forsook my vows and allowed myself to be used to satisfy her... _curiosity_.”

“And what of your curiosity?”

“Perhaps we used each other in that regard,” he sighed, “I was still left with such shame that it seemed easier to wait it out than return home.”

“And Frita?”

“She’s happier there. Our mother is devastated by this news of course...she blames me for not bringing her home...”

Guy trailed off and stared quietly at the rafters. More awake than when he had first lain down, Gesane moved to return to his own hammock.

“You don’t have to go.”

Seeing this as a plea from somewhere in the loneliness and shame that Guy usually hid so well, Gesane settled back down beside him and rested his patchy wing over Guy’s. He couldn’t help the moment of envy that came over him when he felt the smooth, whole flight feathers beneath his touch. Perhaps he had coveted them too much, lingered on them too long, because Guy covered the motley wing that rested upon him with his own beautiful wing and promised him:

“They’ll grow back.”

**Spring**

Gesane—like all Rito—did not remember his first flight. He recalled learning tactical flight under Teba’s tutelage at the Flight Range when he began his warrior training as a fledgling. He remembered his first long distance flight up into the Hebra mountains where he and Guy were first blooded as novices. Yet, when he searched his earliest recollections, he couldn’t recall the moment that he realized he could spread his wings and catch himself.

In the earliest weeks of spring, he had finally shed those remaining stumps of feathers and the ones which replaced them grew in gorgeous and strong. It was not yet a the full compliment he had once had, but it would be in a matter of weeks and Gesane was ready to spread his wings again. He took that gentle horse from the stable and rode to the Flight Range to practise away from the invasive eyes of the village.

As he stood on the edge of the landing and let the updrafts ruffle his feathers he could feel his heart pounding. After so many dreams where he would fall endlessly, something of that fear of heights had transferred into the everyday. He spread his wings, ignoring those nagging doubts which had taken over in the absence of flight.

With a deep breath to calm his nerves, Gesane leapt into the wind and shrieked in delight as his wings caught him. The moment was short-lived as the wind buffeted him and his instincts failed him. He felt a terrible pain in his wing as he tried to catch himself against the pillar in the middle of the basin and spun down into the water below.

He splashed into the icy water in a moment of panic before he pulled himself onto the rocks. As the wind howled around him, Gesane tried to shake the droplets from his feathers before they froze. He hissed in pain as he extended his left wing.

“Oh Goddess,” he whispered as he pulled the injured limb close to his body, cursing his foolishness.

Glancing back up at the cloud-covered sky, he despaired that he might die down here. As his braids blew against his face he sat down on the rocks and probed his injured wing. He wondered if perhaps he ought to think of a good position in which to freeze to death so that when Laissa and the others eventually found him they wouldn’t see him huddled for warmth and agonize that they had not made it sooner. 

The thought made him laugh until he had to cover his face so he didn’t hear the crazed laughter echoing off the walls and turning to tears. Dignity abandoned, he sat wrapped in his good wing, unable to track the passage of time for the unyielding cloud cover above as he shivered and tried to think of a way out of this mess.

oOo

“You’re not supposed to fall asleep in the cold like this.”

Gesane opened his eyes and realized the Flight Range had grown much darker since his fall. His body was heavy with exhaustion and the wet cold which had soaked through his feathers and clothes.

“Guy,” he breathed as his friend held his face to keep his attention.

“Are you injured?”

Gesane nodded to the wing that he had fallen asleep cradling to his body. 

“Do you think it’s broken?” 

“I think I tore something,” Gesane gasped as Guy felt along the back of the injured wing.

Guy withdrew at his hiss and gripped his good wing to pull him to his feet. Gesane could barely hold himself up and tried clumsily to hold onto Guy as he fought to straighten his shaking legs.

“C’mon, stand up,” encouraged Guy, “we’re not staying down here.”

Gesane made a noise of protest as Guy pulled his throbbing wing over his shoulders.

“Did that hurt?”

“Yes!”

“Good. Get ready.”

Gesane nodded and spread his uninjured wing as they pushed off into the wind. Guy seemed to be doing most of the work of stabilizing them and Gesane wondered how badly his wings had atrophied in those months where he had not flown. Goddess, he should have known better than to try this on his own.

They landed at the Flight Range lodge and Gesane stumbled inside, Guy’s wing still around him. He sat down near the fire as Guy pulled a blanket from the hammocks and wrapped it around him. Gesane shivered, gritting his beak against the pain it caused his injured wing.

“Gesane...that was...so stupid,” said Guy as he sat down with him.

“I know.”

“I thought you were dead!”

“Guy—”

“You should have asked someone—me, Harth, _anyone_ —we would have been here to spot you!”

Gesane sat in silence as Guy regained control of himself.

“I didn’t do it to worry you,” said Gesane finally.

“Then what?” Guy begged, “Gesane, make me understand why you keep doing these things because I have lived in fear for you since I returned.”

Gesane stared down at his wings—save for a few gaps where the new feathers still unfurled, they looked normal, beautiful for being so mundane—yet he still saw them as a mess in his mind’s eye. He knew he had done the worst of it to himself before Guy could stop him, but he wondered if in his febrile madness he had expressed his loathing of what he saw. He sometimes wondered if he would never move past this.

“The arbiters meant for this punishment to serve a a deterrent. To humiliate me so completely...” Gesane took a deep breath, fearing he might weep at these things he had never said aloud, “when Teba clipped my wings before the crowd, I let my anger toward Kaneli and those who had passed the sentence carry me through. I had no idea how it would endure, how it would wear away at me long after I had forgotten the feeling of...compliance...”

Gesane covered his beak, unable to fight the silent sobs that built in his chest until he gasped for air. Guy put his wings around him, careful to avoid his injury and Gesane leaned back against him as he felt himself melting in despair.

“The humiliation has endured so much longer then I could have ever imagined...I’ve been such a burden to you all.”

“No.”

“You’ve wasted months on me!”

Guy rested his beak on Gesane’s head and held him a little closer.

“You’re the only person left in my life that I haven’t stupidly alienated,” said Guy, “and you’ve kept me from being alone with my own worst impulses.”

“I thought you were staying for me.”

“Can’t it be both?”

Gesane nodded, still fighting against those quivering breaths.

“And you _are_ getting better.”

“I don’t know if I am.”

“You are,” Guy said plainly, “today has been pretty terrible, but fortunately we have tomorrow. And when your wing heals I’ll be here with you.”

“Because you’re never leaving my roost,” Gesane complained without enthusiasm as he rested his weary head back against Guy’s shoulder.

“That too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Dear wokeboke,
> 
> After your comments on chapter 15, I couldn’t help but write this. I hope you enjoy the hints of the Rito’s envisioned future scattered throughout.
> 
> Please accept this as a thank you for your encouraging comments throughout my fics :)
> 
> -Sun


End file.
